A Kiss and I will Surrender
by xallfalldownx
Summary: After killing L, Raito realises that it's going to be very boring existence with out the detective. He uses the death eraser to bring L back to life. At first L resists but soon after realises he may have developed feelings for his captor. Light/L
1. Chapter 1

A/N Hi there, so this isn't the first fan fic I've ever written however it is the first one I've ever posted ever so concrit would be most welcome.

Warnings: Yaoi, Stockholm syndrome Enjoy =D

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Raito stared blankly at the death note, hand poised and ready to write the criminal's name blinking at him from the computer screen. He had been staring at the death note for a while now, seemingly unable to will his hand to move. He had to admit, his heart just wasn't in it tonight. Maybe it was a good thing. It could be a sort of… tribute to L, he supposed.

"Hey, Raito, what's wrong?"

Raito looked up with a jerk. He had been so deep in thought that he had forgotten Ryuk was in the room with him. "You want to know what's wrong? That's not like you to be so concerned over my well-being, Ryuk, what's changed?"

"Well that's not fair, I asked you a question first."

Raito raised an eyebrow up at the Shinigami, who sighed defeatedly. Sometimes Raito just wasn't any fun, he wasn't scared of Ryuk at all! "Fine, don't think I'm concerned about you or anything, it's just you've been kinda down lately and it's making me bored! You're just not fun any more." Raito stared at Ryuk. He never knew Ryuk could be so observant, but then when something was interfering with Ryuk's entertainment he was bound to notice it. He couldn't help but feel that the Shinigami was on to something, though. For the past few days, every thing was just so… dull. Raito let out a sigh. "I suppose you're right. I've just been so bored since L died. There's no one to provide me with a challenge now."

"It sounds to me like you're missing him." Ryuk replied and Raito couldn't help but laugh at that. He didn't miss L. The man had been the bane of his existence from the moment he started suspecting him. Raito didn't think he could ever meet another man that was more infuriating than L. If anything, the death of the world's 'greatest' detective relieved him. However, he did miss the mind games he and the detective would play with each other. He doubted he would meet any one else that could challenge him so easily.

"I suppose that, in a sense, I am missing him, but there's nothing I can do about it now. L's dead so I'll just have to deal with it."

A delighted grin spread itself across Ryuk's grotesque face. Here was the perfect chance for more entertainment!

"Now why would you say that?"

"Last time I checked, dead people can't do very much. Honestly Ryuk, you say the strangest things sometimes!"

Ryuk couldn't help the loud _hyuk, hyuk, hyuk _that escaped from his throat at Raito's words. This was definitely going to be interesting.

"True, but what if he came back to life?"

"What are you saying? You and I both know that's impossible!"

"Actually, it's perfectly possible." Ryuk stated and Raito's bored expression changed to one of shock. Did Ryuk really know of a way to bring the dead back to life? It wasn't entirely impossible. And if it was possible, did he honestly want the detective alive again? No, that was a ridiculous thought! If it did work, where would he keep L? And if he _did_ find a place secure enough to keep him, what if he escaped? L would alert the police and Raito's entire plan would be ruined. But still, the thought was tempting, to be able to get the one person that could actually hold his interest back…

"Perfectly possible, hmm? And what would the price to bring him back be?" Raito asked the Shinigami.

"Why would you think there's a price?"

"Well obviously there's got to be a price to pay, I can't imagine being allowed to bring someone back to life with out one." Raito shout out, causing Ryuk to grin. "L was killed with death note, meaning that his life was cut short. No one would be inconvenienced by him coming back. It's all completely free."

Raito looked as if he was about to argue that no, this sort of thing couldn't come with out a price, but changed his mind and instead opted to ask how it would work. The grin on Ryuk's face widened, if possible, even further at Raito's words. "With this." Ryuk placed a white, square object next to the death note. "What the hell is that?" Raito asked, eyebrows raised. Ryuk brought his face right in front of Raito's so that yellow eyes met caramel and, in a vicious voice said, "The tool to bring your detective back." Then he unfurled his wings and took off through the ceiling.

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A/N Thanks for reading, please review


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to every one that read and reviewed, I'm so glad you all like this so much.

Warnings: Character death (in this chapter), yaoi and Stockholm syndrome

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, story title comes from MCR's Sharpest Lives

Enjoy =D

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Raito picked the object Ryuk had so kindly left for him up between his thumb and forefinger. It was cold to the touch and had an odd rubbery feeling, almost like an eraser. Upon closer inspection he realised that that was exactly what it was- an eraser.

Raito couldn't help the sneer that formed on his face. Did Ryuk think he was _stupid_? Raito knew very well that it was impossible to erase a name from the death note; it had been explained very clearly in the rules. But maybe Ryuk was being serious. Was it really possible that in order to get L back, all he had to do was erase the name from the death note with _this?_

No, this was definitely nothing more than a joke on that idiot Shinigami's part. With that thought in mind, Raito opened the desk drawer and threw the eraser in. It would be better just to forget about it.

* * *

The problem with his decision to forget about that stupid little eraser was that he _couldn't _forget about it. The idea of just taking it out and using it was always there, nudging at the back of his mind.

Ryuk didn't help much either. While he didn't bring it up again he would always look expectantly at Raito when ever he took the death note out, as if silently willing him to use the eraser.

It was a week after L's funeral when he finally gave in.

It was thirteen days since Ryuk gave him the eraser and Raito was honestly surprised that his resolve had lasted so long.

* * *

The only problem with his decision to try the eraser out was that he couldn't just use it to erase L's name from the death note. It involved careful planning, it needed to be tested to see if it worked. And to test it, Raito would need someone to test it on. Not a criminal, though. He wanted results straight away, he wanted to see what was happening right in front of him. He wanted to know what to expect when he brought L back- if it worked, that is.

His first thought was that maybe he could test it on one of the task force members but then he realised that that was a stupid idea. Using them for his little experiment would immediately bring suspicion back on to him. Other than them and criminals, there was nobody else to test it on. Maybe he would have to use a criminal after all, he wouldn't be able to see what happened as they came back to life and he wouldn't get the information as soon as he would like to but- Misa!

Using Misa could turn out to be disastrous but then it wouldn't be as bad as using one of the task force members. Misa was definitely the best choice. Raito would be able to get into her apartment easily enough and he would be able to see the results of his experiment first hand. Misa would probably be mad at him for gambling her life like this but it didn't matter to him. In the end, she would forgive him, and if it didn't work well, he was sure he could come up with something to get around that.

* * *

Getting into Misa's apartment had been easy; all he had to do was use the key that she had given him. Once he was inside, he looked around. The apartment reflected its owner and while Raito didn't particularly like the gothic décor he found it oddly… tasteful, very much like Misa, that is, until she opened her mouth and started speaking.

Luckily, Raito didn't have to deal with that because when he finally found Misa she was on her bed, seemingly asleep. Raito slowly walked up to the side of the bed where she lay and gently placed two fingers to the side of her neck, checking for a pulse.

There was nothing.

A smile formed on Raito's face as he pulled out the square piece of paper he had taken from the death note to write Misa's name. He put the paper down onto the bedside table and took the eraser Ryuk had given him from his jacket pocket.

Slowly he erased Misa's name and the conditions of her death from the paper, surprised as the ink disappeared as the eraser went over it. Behind him Ryuk stood laughing.

"Finally decided to use it, huh?"

Raito ignored the comment and, once every thing was gone from the paper, looked over at Misa to see if anything had happened yet. He could see no signs of her being alive so he checked her pulse again. Still nothing.

The eraser didn't work, he had killed Misa and now he couldn't bring her back. She was dead because he had made a stupid decision and now he would have to find a way to explain this to the police without incriminating himself.

He could barely hear the sound of Ryuk's laughter through the ringing in his ears.

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A/N: Thanks for reading, please don't forget to review.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Wow, so sorry this took so long. My internet wasn't working and only managed to get it on today. I tried making this a little longer than the last two chapters but I don't think that turned out too well XD

Thanks to every one who read and reviewed.

Warnings:Yaoi, Stockholm Syndrome

Disclaimer: Death Note is not mine, story title comes from MCR's sharpest Lives

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The eraser didn't work, he had killed Misa and now she was dead because he had made a stupid decision.

He could barely hear the sound of Ryuk's laughter through the ringing in his ears.

"What's wrong, Raito, is the death eraser not working?" Ryuk's voice was teasing as he spoke and Raito would have strangled him if he didn't know that it wouldn't cause Ryuk any harm.

"You tricked me." Raito's voice was the complete opposite of Ryuk's: instead of the teasing tone the Shinigami's voice took on, Raito's was quiet, almost monotone save for the slight tinge of anger it held. How could he have been so stupid as to trust Ryuk? He had gambled away Misa's life, and for what? To get L back so that he wouldn't be _lonely_?

"I didn't trick you, that wouldn't be nearly as entertaining as what's gonna happen later."

Raito turned to look at Ryuk with an incredulous look on his face only to see the Shinigami looking at Misa's body with a glint in his eye. He looked over at the model to see what had captured Ryuk's interest but she was just as lifeless as she had been when Raito had entered the apartment. "Then why is she still dead?" Raito asked in a tight voice.

Ryuk didn't answer, he just continued to stare at Misa.

"I swear to God, if you don't-"

"Shut up for a moment, would you? It's still busy happening."

_What_ was still happening? Misa was still dead, Raito couldn't see any thing happening, unless…

Raito sat down on the floor next to Misa's bed and leaned against the wall. He didn't like being screwed around with and, so far, Ryuk was doing a very good job of doing just that. Nevertheless, he would at least try to be a little bit patient and wait for what ever Ryuk said was happening to finish.

They both sat in silence- Ryuk up in the air and Raito on the floor- for a few minutes. As they waited, Raito began thinking about how he could get out of this mess he himself had created. He would have to find a reasonable explanation as to why Misa had died. The Task Force would immediately narrow this down to Kira; they weren't stupid, after all.

Raito supposed he could make a video similar to the one Misa had made when first trying to contact Kira, telling them that Misa's death should be considered a warning to every one that was hunting him down He could tell them that unless they surrendered, all of their loved ones, and eventually themselves, would be killed.

But that was too drastic, he would only do that if he had no other options. He doubted it would work any way.

Above him, Ryuk made a pleased sound, causing Raito to lose his train of thought. "What's wrong?" Ryuk laughed in that odd way he always did when something amused him and pointed to Misa's body. "It's finished."

Raito's eyes widened slightly and he immediately crawled over to Misa. There was no need to check for a pulse, he could see her chest gently rising and falling as she breathed, eyes fluttering beneath her eyelids. There were also no visible signs of her previously being dead except for the sickly paleness of her skin.

The death eraser, as Ryuk had called it, worked. He had clearly made a stupid decision by testing it on Misa but that was all right in the end because it _worked_.

Misa remembered nothing about her death and nothing about her return back to life, just as Raito expected. The only side effect was the loss of her Shinigami Eyes.

When Misa woke up and saw Raito staring up at her from the floor, a frown formed on her face.

"Raito, why can't Misa see your name?"

Shock flooded his system at Misa's words. Of course, Misa would lose her Shinigami Eyes, and, not for the first time that day, Raito felt like an idiotic fool. He had just thrown away one of the most valuable weapons he had!

Raito didn't answer Misa's question, instead he stood up and lightly ruffled her hair. "I'm glad you're okay." His words were sincere- though not out of concern for Misa- and only succeeded in confusing the poor girl even more.

After saying good-bye to Misa, Raito headed back home. Now that he knew the death eraser worked, it was time to start planning for L's return.

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A/N Sorry to every one that was happy Misa died, but unfortunately if the eraser didn't work there would be no story. Thanks for reading =D


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Thank you to every one who read and reviewed ^_^

Warnings: SPOILERS for L and Watari's name's (not that we don't know them already) Stockholm Syndrome and yaoi

Enjoy

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The plan was fairly simple: buy an apartment, dig up L's body, fill in the grave, take L to the apartment and erase his name from the death note. Of course, walking all the way from the cemetery to the apartment whilst carrying a corpse would bring too much attention on him and someone would eventually become suspicious and alert the police. Which is why Raito would borrow his fathers car, he could tell him that he wanted to take Misa on a date and wanted to use the car.

Even before Ryuk had given him the death eraser, Raito had been considering getting his own apartment. He had shopped around and eventually found an apartment to his liking. It wasn't very big, but there was enough space for two people to live comfortably together. He had gone and put down the deposit that morning. Now all that was left to do was tell his father.

"You want to move out Why on earth would you want to do that?" Soichiro asked after Raito told him the news. "Yeah, I mean, we're not going to be able to use this place for much longer. There's no way we'll be able to pay the electricity bills, let alone every thing else. We can use my apartment as headquarters until we find a better place to work."

Soichiro looked as if he was about to argue but seemed to change his mind. Instead, he just sighed before saying, "I suppose you're right. Is Misa moving in with you?"

Raito almost laughed at that. There was no chance in hell of him living with Misa. He would never manage to put up with her inane chatter or the way she always threw herself at him. Besides, he couldn't have her living in the same place that L was going to be kept. It would be dangerous enough having the Task Force using the apartment as headquarters for a while, but if Misa found out, bothe Raito and L would be screwed.

"No, Dad, it's still too early in our relationship to be taking a step that big. I'm not even sure whether I love her yet"

Raito's answer seemed to satisfy Soichiro because the hard look on his face smoothed out into a soft smile. "Good, that's good. I'm glad you're not going to make such a big decision just yet.

* * *

The cemetery was peaceful at night. The sound of late night traffic coming from outside the cemetery gates could barely be heard, giving the air a quiet stillness. The pathway was illuminated by soft white light coming from iron lampposts spread out along the ground.

L's grave was fairly far into the cemetery and the light from the lampposts barely reached it. In the dim light, Raito could see fresh flowers- asphodels, possibly- placed by the grave. He wondered if Matsuda had put them there, he had always had a soft spot for L, after all.

Raito set the bag holding all of the equipment he would need onto the ground, unzipped it and pulled out a shovel. He walked to the head of L's grave and started digging.

The dirt shifted easily as he dug it up and slowly he went deeper and deeper into the ground until, finally, he hit something hard. Raito stood up straight and wiped the sweat from his forehead with a dirty hand. He then through the shovel up to the ground then got on his hands and knees so he could push the last bit off dirt off the coffin.

As the coffin became more and more revealed, a small bubble of excitement formed in Raito's chest. He was halfway there; he was so close to getting L back. The thought almost made him laugh. It was ironic to think that after all that time spent plotting ways to get L's name so that he could kill him and then finally, _finally_, succeeding, just to bring him back to life again. It seemed almost counter-productive.

The coffin was almost completely revealed now, and, feeling impatient, Raito pulled the coffin door up. Raito stared at the body that lay inside. L looked peaceful in death. The harsh lines that were usually around his mouth and eyes were gone and his mouth was no longer drawn into a thin hard line, as it had often been when he was alive. The fact that L looked so peaceful almost made Raito feel guilty that he would be bringing him back.

Lifting L up and out of the grave wasn't easy He wasn't nearly as light as he looked and Raito almost dropped him several times before he finally managed to get him out. Raito quickly pulled out a thin blanket to cover L, then picked up his shovel and began filling the grave back in.

Filling L's grave didn't take as long as it had to dig it up and soon Raito was back in his apartment, laying L gently down on the bed. He then opened the drawer in his bedside cabinet and took out the death note and the death eraser. He quickly found the page Rem had written both Watari's and L's names: Quillish Wammy and L Lawliet.

_L Lawliet_.

L's real name. It was almost ridiculous that L's alias was also his real name. It was also very smart, after all, who would have guessed that his real name was L?

Not wanting to waste any more time in bringing L back, Raito erased L's name from the death note. He then put the death note and death eraser away and sat down on the floor. He figured he was going to have a very long wait ahead of him.

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A/N Raito's getting his L back next chapter whoop! Thanks for reading, please don't forget to review!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Gah, I'm so sorry this took so long! I had to rewrite this chapter about a hundred times because it kept on coming out completely shit. Buuut any way, here it (finally) is. I can rest easy now ^_^ Thank you to every one that read and reviewed! Anonymous reviews are now enabled, nudgenudgewinkwink

Warnings: Stockholm Syndrome, yaoi. You can see a bit of Light/L in this chapter if you squint.

Disclaimer: Death Note is note mine, title comes from MCR's the sharpest lives

Enjoy =D

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Raito sat on the floor, waiting for L to show signs of movement all night. He wasn't too surprised though. He had expected this to take longer than it did for Misa; he figured it had something to do with how long the person had been dead. For Misa, it had taken about twenty minutes: she had been dead for about an hour or so. L, however, had been dead for about three weeks. If it _did_ all work according to how long the person has been dead, then L would only awaken in about eight days time, which would be a bit of a problem.

At six am, the doorbell rang. Raito got up to answer it, but before doing so, closed the bedroom door. Just in case. When the door opened, Raito was greeted with the sight of his father.

Soichiro gave a sigh of relief when his son opened the door, clearly having been worried about something. "Thank God you're alright," Raito barely had time to give his father a confused look before the man was pushing his way into the apartment. "You didn't return the car last night and you weren't answering our phone calls. Your mother and I were worried sick!"

Of course he didn't return the car; he had other, more important things to worry about. Like L. Raito suddenly felt the urge for his father to leave. What if L decided that _now_ of all times would be a good time to awaken? Raito would be screwed if that were to happen.

"Sorry Dad, I completely forgot about it, I was just so tired last night after my date with Misa."

Soichiro's face relaxed a little, but he was still obviously angry with Raito. Raito plastered a guilty look on his face and apologised once more. Soichiro wasn't completely satisfied with this, but nevertheless left with a stern warning to Raito not to let this happen again.

Raito walked his father down to the car, apologised once again then, en minutes later, he was back upstairs, locking the door behind him. He had barely just taken the key out when a retching noise came from the bedroom. Dropping the keys on the table beside the door, he ran to the bedroom to see L leaning on his side, chest heaving and breath ragged. Realising what L was trying to do, Raito quickly pulled L up into his arms and took him to the toilet.

L held onto the toilet with a death grip, heaving and retching until finally something came out. Raito stroked through L's hair with his fingers, making quiet _shh_-ing noises in an attempt to calm him. Eventually all that came out was bile, so Raito took the glass beside the sink, filled it with water then went to hand it to L so that he could rinse his mouth out, but by then he had already slumped against the toilet and fell back to sleep.

Raito pulled L back from the toilet, quickly flushed it then picked L up into his arms and carried him back to the bed. He then proceeded to take off the clothes that L had been buried in and exchanged them for a pair of Raito's pyjamas. Once that was done, Raito changed into his own pyjamas, pulled the duvet out from under L and crawled in next to him.

He was cold. God he was so cold. He felt as if all the heat had been sucked out of his body, as if it was just _gone_. And yet … and yet there was heat all around him, right next to him. He tried to burrow himself inside the heat source, moved closer and closer until his back was pressed right against it.

It didn't help.

A sob escaped from his mouth and, just for a moment, he forgot how cold he was and instead took a moment to be shocked that that had just come out of his mouth. Then a violent shiver wracked his body and, oh God, he was so cold.

He felt as if the cold was starting to seep into his bones, making his teeth chatter and his stomach want to curl in on its self. He wondered if this was what dying felt like.

Through the cold he could feel something curl around his shoulder - a hand – and the heat from that hand seemed to melt into his flesh, so warm and wonderful but it just wasn't enough.

"Hey, L, what's wrong? Are-are you cold?"

The voice sounded familiar – comforting but not – he was too cold to think, to separate the words racing through his head to form one conscious thought so he could figure out whom the voice belonged to.

There was movement next to him, a dip in the surface of whatever it was that he was lying on and then hands gripping onto him, behind his back and under his legs. Blankets were wrapped around him and then he felt himself being pulled onto someone's lap, arms holding him tightly in an attempt to warm him.

The person's attempts to warm him were successful and slowly the sobs subsided and he fell back into a dreamless sleep.

L soon became quiet and gentle breathing was the only thing that sounded from him. Raito didn't put him down though. He was worried about L, first the vomiting and now this? It could just be some side effects to his resurrection or whatever the hell this was that Misa hadn't experienced. He hoped that was the case, because if anything was wrong with L, there would be no way to get it fixed with out taking him to a hospital where he could get professional treatment, and that would screw Raito over completely. He just hoped it wouldn't have to come to that.

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A/N Thank you for reading, please don't forget to review. Also, for any one wondering what was up with L vomiting, when a person dies they're embalmed using a whole lot of chemicals, and that was really bugging me because obviously it couldn't just go away so I thought that would be the best way to get rid of them. Hope that makes sense to you.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N Wow so I kind of disappeared there for a while! I have no excuse for it except that this chapter was hell to write. But I finally got round to actually planning this story out so hopefully there won't be such a long wait before the next update. Of course, to make up for the long wait this chapter is longer than usual. Concrit is much appreciated.

**Also **I'm going to be taking some creative liberty with the timeline of the story, hope that doesn't bother anyone.

Warnings: Stockholme syndrome, naughty words, OOC-ness.

Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note, I'm just borrowing the characters.

* * *

He noticed the light first – a bright, agonizing light that pierced through his eyelids and into his retinas, sending a shooting pain into his head – a feeling that reminded him of his younger days when he was too smart for his own good, rebellious and curious about what it felt like to be a normal teenager. Waking up with a hangover and the taste of alcohol and stale vomit on his tongue was an experience he would not soon forget and he wondered just how he managed to end up in this situation after years of having outgrown his rebelliousness.

And fuck, this didn't feel like any hangover he's ever had. For one thing, the taste of alcohol was missing, for another, this felt far, far worse. L was in the middle of contemplating whether opening his eyes would be too painful when he felt someone sit on the bed and a cool hand rested against his forehead. Then fingers moving a stray clump of hair from his mouth.

"I know you're awake, L." Raito's voice called out. L cracked his eyes open just enough to let only the smallest amount of light through so that he could look at Raito. The boy's face was only inches above his own and L found himself trying to push his head deeper into the pillow in order t create more distance between them..

"Raito-kun, is there any particular reason you are crossing so far into my personal space or do you just enjoy trying to make me feel uncomfortable?"

Raito moved back with a smirk and said, "That's a bit hypocritical, don't you think? I mean, last time I checked, placing, what was it, sixty-four camera's in a person's room without a warrant is not only privacy-invading but highly illegal as well. You don't really have any room to talk, L."

It took a while for L to take in what Raito had said because there was no way he could have known exactly how many cameras had been placed in his room. Now that L's mind had started working he began to realise that there was definitely something wrong here. The bed was softer than the one he was used to, the room too small and the walls the wrong shade of cream.

"Where's Watari?" L was panicking. He knew he shouldn't but he was. He had never been in such a compromising position before and he didn't really know what to make of it.

"What's wrong, L, don't you remember? Watari's dead, the Shinigami killed him. And as far as the task force is concerned, you're dead too. I've won, L."

Raito's mouth had twisted up into an ugly grin, eyes glinting dangerously as he spoke. But it wasn't the sudden change in appearance that shocked L, it was the tone of Raito's voice, strained and bitter and so unsuited to his voice. This person in front of him was so different to the one he had spent so few months with. The Raito he knew was suddenly gone and only Kira remained.

L felt his heart almost ache as he watched someone who had once held such great promise turn into something completely different. It was a waste, L thought, for someone with so much potential to help, to _make a difference, _to be turned into _this_.

o~o~o

There was a spare bedroom in what L later learned to be Raito's apartment and temporary task force headquarters. Raito had moved him there not long after he had finished his gloating. L had to wonder if Raito was less intelligent than he had originally thought or if maybe he had become overly cocky, keeping L locked up in such close proximity to five trained police officers. Surely the boy didn't expect him to keep quiet and draw as little attention as possible to himself like some well-trained pet?

Of course not. Raito knew L better than most people, almost as well as Watari did – had. Raito knew L was too physically weak to move around. He would gag L to prevent him from calling out for help. Raito was efficient. He wouldn't leave room for mistakes to be made. That's why L wasn't at all surprised when he saw the benzodiazepine on the bedside table. But just because L wasn't surprised to see it didn't mean he wouldn't get that sick feeling in the bottom of his stomach that showed up whenever he came into close proximity to any form of sedative or strong painkiller.

Raito quietly went about readying L's arm for the injection. He assured L that the needle hadn't been used before, though at that point in time L didn't really think possibly contracting AIDS was his biggest problem. The prick of the needle came and went relatively quickly and soon Raito was busy binding L's hands and feet, fixing a gag into his mouth and tucking him tightly under the bed covers.

"I know you're probably hungry but the task force is going to be here soon. Just sleep for now, when they're gone you can eat."

L watched Raito leave the room, heard the sound of a lock turning and then silence for the next few minutes. On the rare occasion he had been given sedatives they had always taken a while to work. He hated it – the feeling of being slowly dragged under, of losing the ability to control his own body. That's why his experimentation phase hadn't lasted longer than a week, if not less.

The drug was starting to work. Time seemed to be slowing down, his vision was blurring and his eyelids were becoming heavy.

The sound of a door opening somewhere outside his room filtered through the fog in L's brain as he heard Matsuda greet Raito and immediately start talking about something or other. L didn't know what. It was difficult to keep his eyes open any longer. He couldn't fight it, he knew that, so instead he just gave in and let the sleep take him.

o~o~o

When L woke up it was dark out. His mind felt sluggish and his eyes were sticky with sleep. The gag was gone and the ropes binding his hands and feet had been loosened. L tried to shift into a more comfortable position and closed his eyes. He needed to get out of here but if his body stayed in the state it was currently in he would never be able to. The muscles in his legs and arms had deteriorated almost completely and only long hours of exercise would be able to build them up again. And even if L did manage to get his body back into shape again he wouldn't be able to take Raito on, not when the boy had so many more advantages than L.

'_What happened that my body has deteriorated so badly? Surely Raito hasn't kept me under sedation for that long. Unless….'_

Unless what? He couldn't remember anything after Higuchi's capture save for the Shinigami and the Death Note. And the pain. L could still feel it, the powerful clenching of his heart. He could still remember trying to keep breathing as he looked up into those red, red eyes.

Did he die?

That was the only explanation, unless the Death Note was capable of doing more than just killing people. Was it possible that the book could simulate death too? Cause paralysis? Or had he been poisoned? There were poisons that could cause the body to shut down enough so as to look as if it were dead.

Raito could have slipped the poison into L's tea and now the task force thinks that he's dead. But that explanation didn't really sit well with L. Raito was too careful and the poison could easily have been traced back to him if an autopsy was done.

"I see you're finally awake."

L opened his eyes to see Raito leaning against the door frame as he watched L. L felt like kicking himself for not hearing him come in, but he couldn't really blame himself. This situation was strange and he had to figure out how he had ended up in this situation in the first place and, more importantly, how he was going to get out of it.

"You're probably hungry. I've got some food going on the stove but you probably won't like it, it isn't anything sweet." Raito said as he moved back out of the room.

L could feel his nose scrunching up at the thought of eating vegetables out of habit but caught himself before the expression of disgust could fully form on his face. Instead he kept his usual blank look and watched warily as Raito came back with a tray of food.

Every step Raito took was graceful and deliberate. There was a cool arrogance that radiated from the boy, something that reminded L just how different this Raito was to the one that he had gotten to know so well.

Not once had that Raito given the impression that he was better than anybody else. Now he walked as if he was God's gift to mankind, something that wasn't too surprising for the megalomaniac that Raito – Kira – was.

Neither man said anything as Raito fed L the food. L had wanted to refuse to be fed like some child in order to save the last few shreds of his pride but he knew that he needed to keep his energy up, needed to build up his strength. But most of all he was _hungry _and the food smelled good and it tasted good and he couldn't even find himself caring that it wasn't the sweet dishes he preferred to eat.

Once L had finished eating and Raito had placed the empty plate on the bedside table they sat in silence, L staring at Raito's face and Raito staring just to the left of L's face. They each seemed to be waiting for the other to speak first, neither wanting to be the first to break the silence.

When it seemed that neither one of them were going to be the first to speak L decided to take the plunge, sick of being left thinking and wondering what was going on.

"I want answers, Raito-kun. I want to know exactly how you pulled this stunt off and I want to know why." L was still staring at Raito, still talking with a quiet authority to his voice. L could see the annoyance flicker on Raito's face at this, could see him mulling over the consequences of answering L's questions. Raito apparently saw none and started talking, voice soft as he spoke.

"It was quite simple really. I manipulated the Shinigami into killing you and Watari, and by doing so I managed to get rid of three of the biggest threats to my plans at the same time. I'm now going to use my position as the new L to steer the Kira investigation in the direction I want it to go.

"But do you know what the best thing about all of this is? You'll get to witness everything and you won't be able to do a thing about it, and it's all thanks to the death eraser."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Thanks for all the comments and faves on the last chapter guys, really appreciate it! I'm aware that I changed tense towards the end of the chapter but it didnt happen in too awkward a place and I kind of like how it turned out, so I just left it.'

Concrit is encouraged and appreciated.

Warnings: Stockholm Syndrome, light violence towards the end.

* * *

Raito never offered L any more information than what he had given on the first night and L never asked for more. He didn't need to. L knew enough about the way the mind works, he could put together the missing pieces on his own.

Yes, Raito keeping L captive had a lot to do with his desire to humiliate him, to make him watch as the first person that had ever successfully managed to beat him continue to outwit and degrade him. But it had a lot to do with desire as well.

Raito wanted company. Company intelligent enough to be able to keep up with and take part in some of his more involved conversations.

It was something that the boy had always craved. L knew this because he had craved it as well. Companionship was something that every human being craved. Human interaction was the driving factor to most things people did after all, and Raito was no different.

Every night, and sometimes early morning depending on if the task force decided to work late into the night, Raito would feed L then carry him to the bathroom where he would assist L in his ablutions.

But he never spoke. L wondered if it was because he was embarrassed by the display he had put on that first night, or if maybe he was simply just scared to give L too much information.

Whatever the reason for Raito's sudden and unexpected silence, it disturbed L. He disliked the way Raito would quietly sit next to his bedside and watch him eat, or the way Raito's fingers were ever so gentle as they washed away the sweat and dirt that had caked over L's skin during the day.

It made him feel awkward, if L was honest with himself. The way Raito treated him made him feel like a possession, fragile enough to be broken if he wasn't treated gently enough. It was all so unbefitting of Raito's character and L almost wished that it was the Raito with the mad glint in his eye helping him back to bed than the Raito with the gentle hands and the gentle eyes

o~o~o

During the day – and sometimes during the night – L would be kept under a drug-induced sleep. Sometimes, when the drug was wearing off, he was aware enough to hear Raito come quietly into the room to check up on him.

It was becoming difficult for L to keep track of time. The days seemed to blend into each other and drag on and go too fast all at the same time. His concentration was also being affected and his vision was becoming blurred. Sometimes it felt like he was tipping over and falling even though he was lying down.

During those rare moments of lucidity, L found himself thinking that Raito had planned it to turn out this way. The side effects to the sedative were perfect for keeping L quiet, complacent.

It hurt. It hurt his pride in a way that was almost more painful than those phantom pains he would sometimes feel in his chest or the way pain flared up in his legs or arms when he moved even slightly.

The fact that Raito had somehow completely managed to take complete control over L's life didn't sit well with him. Of course it didn't. It was degrading. He hated being treated like an invalid (though in many ways he was) but most of all he hated that it was _Kira _that was looking after him, helping him do all the things that he couldn't.

And like a caged animal, all L wanted to do was fight back, be it physically or mentally. And seeing as his physical health wasn't up to par, he would have to settle for attacking Raito's own pride, because if there was one thing Raito was, it was prideful. Unfortunately, Raito was also a lot easier to provoke than L was, so he would have to be careful about pushing him too far should Raito become violent.

o~o~o

"This isn't going to work," L says one night, when the drugs have worn off enough to allow him to speak, words slurred and not entirely strung together properly. When Raito says nothing, L says it again. "It can't work, you'll slip up eventually and someone will catch you."

Raito still says nothing, just fills up the syringe and sticks the needle into L's arm. Quick and methodical, the same way L would imagine him writing a name into the Death Note.

o~o~o

Things go the same way for the next few days, L goading Raito whenever he was awake enough to string a coherent sentence together. But Raito never says anything, just stares at L with a faraway look in his eye or a tiny smirk on his face, as if he knows better. L sometimes thinks that he probably does.

And L's getting kind of sick of it. This should be easier. Taunting Raito, getting a reaction out of him should be easier.

So he changes tactics. It's not a huge change, far from it actually. But L's sure it'll work. He _knows _that it will work.

o~o~o

Raito's feeding him, some delicious concoction of avocado and banana that the boy probably spent all of ten minutes making. It shouldn't taste so good but it did. The spoon moves closer to his mouth but L keeps it tightly shut. A flicker of annoyance flashes across Raito's face and L feels, for the first time in too long, a sense of joy fill his chest.

The spoon moves away and L almost smirks at the small victory. The sense of triumph doesn't last long though, because Raito's standing up now, holding the bowl in a tight grip and walking towards the door. And it's not enough, not nearly enough to make L feel better about this situation – not that this situation would ever feel alright – so he calls out, voice raspy but steady, speaking slowly to get every syllable out perfectly.

"You're worse than the people you kill," L hisses, and Raito stops, hand on the door handle, body tensing up ever so slightly. Seeing this, L carries on. "They maim and steal and violate, but at least they aren't under the impression that what they're doing is _just_. You're nothing more than a child with a god complex, bound to get caught at any moment. And when Kira's supporters see that he is nothing more than a fo-"

And that's all it takes. Raito is at L's bedside in a matter of seconds, pulling him up by the hair, expression dark as he stares into L's face. It hurts to be jostled around like that, nothing supporting him but Raito's hand in his hair.

"I may be a fool with a god complex, L, but you're the one at the mercy of that fool." Raito's voice is a low hiss as he speaks, and L thinks, 'Finally,' with a flutter in his chest and barely-there smirk gracing his lips.

But it's gone within seconds, ripped from him as Raito's thin fingers grip his throat and _squeeze_. The air to L's lungs is cut off with a strangled gasp and L knows then that he went too far.

The fingers stay wrapped around his neck until his vision blurs and mixes and his brain slowly starts to shut down. When L thinks that he's finally going to lose consciousness, the fingers loosen and peel away, gentle hands ease him back into a horizontal position and gentle brown eyes gaze down at him.

Raito leaves then, and L falls into a sleep filled with visions of Death God's with red eyes and wicked smirks.


End file.
